Yesterday I got lots done. I planted shallots, designed and ordered business cards, ran errands, mowed the farm, and cleaned the house. While yesterday was a productive day, it was a sad one.
Some days are just like that. It was slightly gray and although the rain usually refreshes me, yesterday it just sort of added to this soggy feeling that nipped at my heals all day like an annoying little dog. Once I slowed down enough to really figure out why my feet hurt, that little dog climbed in my lap and stared me straight in the face. Yes, there was no denying that I was sad yesterday. I want you to know (for those of you who are concerned) that I took immediate action. As I drove home I picked up chocolate, a romantic/action comedy, and upon arriving at home I cut a bouquet of lovely purple stachus for my desk.
The odd thing is, my life is better than it has ever been. I am in love with a wonderful man, my kids are the greatest, I have all my needs met, and suddenly hopes and dreams I once had and thought were gone are now possible. So what is there to be sad about?
Sadness is a strange thing. It's very ego-centric (as feelings tend to be). You've got to have some time on your hands, or at least some head space to notice you are sad. Like the quote to the right advises, I have aimed for the moon-- or more accurately, Planet X. From up here there is a lot of space and some distance from my life on planet Earth. In fact, there is a good amount of perspective from up here as I hurtle through space traveling at speeds that I am not accustomed to. Now that the initial rush of lift off has passed, I find myself on the long journey towards planet X. OK, I do not wish to carry this metaphor too far and bore all of you, but it's so quiet, alone in this spaceship and a little lonesome.
I don't think I shall ever see Earth again and maybe that is a little sad, even if Planet X is 10x better. Maybe some of you are feeling like this? You are growing and your future is full of potential, but the space between now and someday is lonesome. Maybe you are excited about all this change, but there is part of you that is sad right now? I decided today that sadness was a good thing. I am letting my sadness drift over my day and through my soul. My sadness helps me detect those things I am holding on to. Many of those things should go. Even as good things pass away, I know that there are new good things around the corner. At the very least my sadness allows me to know what happy is.
So this is a sad entry in my blog. Aren't you happy about that? I mean, reading something that is always happy just isn't "real". On a final note I will say this to those of you who are sad, discontented, disillusioned, or the like: A visit from not so happy emotions brings balance and clarity. In the Old Testament of the Bible it says over and over again, "In those days it came to pass..." This is important to note because things come to pass, not to stay.