Yesterday I got lots done. I planted shallots, designed and ordered business cards, ran errands, mowed the farm, and cleaned the house. While yesterday was a productive day, it was a sad one.
Some days are just like that. It was slightly gray and although the rain usually refreshes me, yesterday it just sort of added to this soggy feeling that nipped at my heals all day like an annoying little dog. Once I slowed down enough to really figure out why my feet hurt, that little dog climbed in my lap and stared me straight in the face. Yes, there was no denying that I was sad yesterday. I want you to know (for those of you who are concerned) that I took immediate action. As I drove home I picked up chocolate, a romantic/action comedy, and upon arriving at home I cut a bouquet of lovely purple stachus for my desk.
The odd thing is, my life is better than it has ever been. I am in love with a wonderful man, my kids are the greatest, I have all my needs met, and suddenly hopes and dreams I once had and thought were gone are now possible. So what is there to be sad about?
Sadness is a strange thing. It's very ego-centric (as feelings tend to be). You've got to have some time on your hands, or at least some head space to notice you are sad. Like the quote to the right advises, I have aimed for the moon-- or more accurately, Planet X. From up here there is a lot of space and some distance from my life on planet Earth. In fact, there is a good amount of perspective from up here as I hurtle through space traveling at speeds that I am not accustomed to. Now that the initial rush of lift off has passed, I find myself on the long journey towards planet X. OK, I do not wish to carry this metaphor too far and bore all of you, but it's so quiet, alone in this spaceship and a little lonesome.
I don't think I shall ever see Earth again and maybe that is a little sad, even if Planet X is 10x better. Maybe some of you are feeling like this? You are growing and your future is full of potential, but the space between now and someday is lonesome. Maybe you are excited about all this change, but there is part of you that is sad right now? I decided today that sadness was a good thing. I am letting my sadness drift over my day and through my soul. My sadness helps me detect those things I am holding on to. Many of those things should go. Even as good things pass away, I know that there are new good things around the corner. At the very least my sadness allows me to know what happy is.
So this is a sad entry in my blog. Aren't you happy about that? I mean, reading something that is always happy just isn't "real". On a final note I will say this to those of you who are sad, discontented, disillusioned, or the like: A visit from not so happy emotions brings balance and clarity. In the Old Testament of the Bible it says over and over again, "In those days it came to pass..." This is important to note because things come to pass, not to stay.
An adventure into farm life through organic agriculture, cooking, and personal growth initiated from unlikely events.
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Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Enjoying the Harmony of Life
Our squashes at Heron's Nest Farm are looking great. We were a little late in getting them in, but the fruits have "set" and are getting plumper by the day.
Yesterday we put garlic in and I plan to plant shallots this weekend. I can hear the freshly tilled earth calling to me. The farm seems to beckon me all throughout my day. But the farm is not the only thing beckoning; my children need me as they start the school year, my home needs constant attention, my own yard is in disrepair, I am taking 17 units in 2 weeks, and, and...
It's all a bit foreboding. But yesterday it was so quiet in the field with the soft soil beneath my feet and the birds tweeting. There is an incredible feeling of containment that overwhelms me when I look down the symmetrical rows of tilled earth and plant cloves of garlic in a straight line 6 inches on center. It's incredible the joy of the potential just beneath the surface and the visual splendor of crops fruiting full throttle. Everything seems perfect in those moments and really I want for nothing more. It is as though I can hear the sound of all creation singing in harmony and its melody quashes every worry.
Jesus told us not to worry and when I sit in those moments I understand why. That song I hear is the one of many lives and energies adding their piece/peace to the score. It is never cacophonous unless I fall out of its rhythm. Instead of being present in the moment I drift away to my list of things to do, bills, etc. I essentially check out of reality and the noise in my head drowns out the beauty and synchronicity of resting in perfect love and perfect trust.
That's what I want; to rest in this world nestled with those lives and energies, loving and trusting them. I want to grow in the appreciation of those around me knowing that we are interconnected and that the parts are never greater than the sum. I hope we can all enjoy the symphony and appreciate the notes that are being offered by the people and life in all its forms around us everyday, every way, and in every moment. It's a precious song whose rhythm both shapes us and helps us to contribute our distinct offering of "self".
Thoughts?
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Arugala Salad with Beets
8 small beets
5 tbs chives
1/tsp salt
4 tbs olive oil
5 tbs balsamic vinegar
baby arugala
Walnuts to taste
Serves 6
5 tbs chives
1/tsp salt
4 tbs olive oil
5 tbs balsamic vinegar
baby arugala
Walnuts to taste
Remove the tops of the beets and set greens aside for another dish (Try Fusilli with Beet Greens). Put in a pot and boil till tender, about 10 minutes. Drain and allow to cool.
Once beets are cool remove skins with your fingers; they should come off easily, but you may need to use a pairing knife. Cut beets into healthy bite sized pieces and place in small bowl that fits easily into your fridge. Toss with chives. Add olive oil and toss, then add salt and toss. Finally add balsamic and toss. Cover and chill for an hour (you can do this part up to a day in advance).
Serve on a bed of organic baby arugala. Sprinkle with walnuts.
Serves 6
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